When It's Time to Leave

Leaving a church is one of the most difficult spiritual decisions a person can make, especially when that church has been a significant part of your life. Recognizing when a church is causing more harm than good can feel overwhelming, even heartbreaking. You might find yourself asking:

• Is my faith becoming a burden?

• Does leadership feel more controlling than caring?

• Is church pain drowning out my relationship with Christ?

• Am I longing for Christian community but feeling paralyzed by fear?

  
  

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not alone. Many wrestle with guilt and uncertainty, wondering.

Am I being disloyal to God? What will happen to my faith?

Friend, you are not disloyal for desiring healing, and you are not alone on this journey.

That’s why I created Leaving Well, Healing Deep: When Church Culture Hurts Workbook.

To walk with you through these tender questions and help you rebuild your faith on the unshakable foundation of Jesus Christ. In the workbook, we walk through four key stages of the healing journey:

Identifying Unhealthy Church Culture

Before true healing can begin, it’s important to recognize when a church environment is no longer bearing the fruit of the Spirit. Spiritual abuse, manipulation, fear-driven leadership, lack of accountability, twisting Scripture for control. These are not reflections of Christ’s heart.

Paul reminds us in Ephesians 5:11:

"Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them."

Recognizing toxicity isn’t being judgmental, it’s being wise and discerning. It’s acknowledging that what God desires for His people is freedom, truth, and spiritual health.

Leaving Well

Leaving, when necessary, must still be done with grace, humility, and prayer. It’s not about retaliating. It’s about trusting God to lead you forward without compromising your character.

You can leave well, with dignity and peace even when circumstances are painful.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us:

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."

Trust that if God is calling you into a new season, He will meet you there with open arms.

Healing Deep

Leaving is just the beginning. The deeper journey is the one of healing and allowing God to meet you in the hurt places, the fearful places, and the broken places.

Healing may involve grieving what was lost, confronting what was unhealthy, and rediscovering who God truly is apart from human failure.

Psalm 34:18 promises:

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

You are not alone in your pain. Jesus is near and He specializes in healing wounds we think are too deep to touch.

Finding a Healthy Church Community Again

God did not create us to walk our faith alone. Even after hurt, He gently invites us back into community not to repeat old wounds, but to experience the beauty of His family the way He designed it.

Healthy churches do exist. Places where humility, authenticity, biblical teaching, accountability, and grace are lived out.

Hebrews 10:24–25 encourages us:

"Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together... but encouraging one another."

When you find a Christ-centered, grace-filled community again, it can be one of the sweetest gifts of healing.

A Deeper Invitation: Leaving Well, Healing Deep

If you're walking through this tender process, whether you're just beginning to wrestle with leaving, or you're in the middle of rebuilding. Leaving Well, Healing Deep was prayerfully created for you.

Inside the workbook, you'll find:

• Scriptural encouragement for each stage of the journey

• Guided reflection questions to help process your story

• Practical steps toward deep, lasting healing

• Tools for discerning healthy community moving forward

Grab your copy here

Leaving Well, Healing Deep Workbook

Take the next step toward the healing your heart deserves. You don’t have to do this alone.

Final Encouragement

Friend, your story is not over. I know this journey can feel lonely. I know what it’s like to carry questions you can’t say out loud, the ache of wondering if you’ll ever fully trust again, the fear that maybe you’ve lost something you’ll never get back.

But I want you to hear this clearly: God is not finished with you. The wounds you carry are not invisible to Him. The questions you whisper in the dark are safe with Him. And the pieces of your heart you’re holding together. He can heal them, tenderly, fully, beautifully.

There is hope beyond the hurt. There is beauty still ahead. And there is a Savior who has never, not for one moment, let go of you.

He is the God who makes all things new including you.

Closing Prayer

Father,

You see every broken place we try so hard to hide. You hear the silent questions, the aching prayers, the moments of wondering if we’ll ever feel whole again. Thank You for being the God who stays close when everything else falls apart. Thank You for being patient with our doubts, gentle with our wounds, and faithful to heal what others have broken.

I lift up every weary heart reading these words. Would You be their safe place? Would You remind them that they are not forgotten, not invisible, not too broken to be loved? Pour Your healing oil over the places still raw with hurt. Give courage for the next step, peace for the unanswered questions, and hope for the days still ahead.

Root them deeply, not in a church building, not in human leaders but in You, Jesus, the only unshakable foundation. Wrap them in Your grace. Restore what was lost. Redeem what was broken. And lead them into a future more beautiful than they dared to believe was possible.

In Your faithful and powerful name, we pray, Amen.